Dealing With Death at 13 Years Old

How Do You Help A 13 Year Old Deal With A Friend’s Mysterious Death???

death of child friend schoolmate

I never thought we’d face something like this.

I know there are school shootings happening all over the place, but this is different.

With a school shooting, there’s an explanation. There’s a culprit. There’s a reason that children died.

But what do you do when your kid’s friend dies unexpectedly and without reason?

“He Wasn’t At School. I Didn’t Know He Died”

My son wasn’t on the bus coming home yesterday.

He called mom telling her that he’d missed the bus. He was in a “grief counseling” session with other kids that were close to this child. That had gone late, and my son missed the bus.

My wife and I weren’t mad. We were more concerned than anything. I went to go get my son from school as fast as I could and tried to console him in the car on the way home.

Facing Death Is Hard Enough As An Adult

Death isn’t pleasant, even when it is a natural death. Death is sad. Death means loss.

I lost my mother last October and I still think of her every day. Whenever we visit dad, it’s present in my thoughts.

Many adults have a very hard time dealing with the passing of someone close to them, so how much more tough is it on a child that doesn’t have the life experience to be faced with death in such an “in your face” way as this?

What Reasons Do You Give When There Are No Reasons To Give?

I guess the hardest part of the ordeal is that there were no reasons given. The school, of course, did not divulge any information on what happened, and as you can imagine, to a young teen, this was an unjustified, senseless death that held no answers.

Dealing With The Loss And The Feeling Of Mortality

I don’t have the answers.

These are just my thoughts as the matter unfolds.

How do you help a teen deal with the loss? There will be a vacancy every day at school, a seat in the class next to him where the friend will never sit at again, and most of all, the feelings of mortality that this could happen to another student, or worse, my son, himself.

My wife and I are there to support and comfort him.

We’re going to do everything we can to help him grieve and then move on to focus on school, his studies and making new friends.

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